Penalised for NOT being in debt

It is unfair that you can't book certain things online without a credit card.

I've tried in the past to book train tickets, tickets for events or even buy goods and when I get to the 'pay page' the website curls up into a foetal position and starts crying if I give it my ordinary bank account card details.

This is not fair.

To have a credit card means you are in debt - you borrow money from the bank to pay for things - yet you get benefits for doing this, such as insurance on purchases.

No wonder there is a global credit crisis when the average Joe is given benefits for being in debt!

Why you shouldn't be a woman

A friend has become the first victim of the credit crunch I actually know in real life.

Having worked several years for a company in the UK which sells double-glazing windows she was made redundant last week because the company is struggling as people are pulling back the purse strings and not buying as many new windows for their homes.

She is pregnant and now looses her maternity pay - although she should get some redundancy money - and will now struggle to get a job.

No-one is going to employ a member of staff who is going to have to take (at least) six months off very soon after starting. But isn't this illegal sexual discrimination?

A father-to-be would have no problem securing a new job, so why should a woman be penalised for having to take time off to have a baby?

It makes me so cross even my coffee tastes bitter.

Something for the week.....?

With another comedy performance tonight (Friday) my weekend won't start properly until about 11pm when I'm off stage and can truly relax. Which got me wondering.

What is that Friday feeling? At what time exactly on a Friday does that feeling start? My weekend will "officially begin" (as popular Radio Disc Jockeys in Britain tell us on their programmes) at 5pm today when I leave work.

But, as I sip my Friday morning coffee and think about the next 72 hours until I am back here at my desk drinking machine-made-warm-caffeine-goop out of a plastic cup, I wonder why we place so much emphasis on these two days of the week.

Ok, so most people are not at work, and your time is your own, but wouldn't it be nice to have that "Friday feeling" on, say, a Tuesday. To feel like the day is your own and that you can do whatever you want.

So next Tuesday, get up with a smile on your face, knowing it is your last day at work, be happy all day and on Tuesday night rent a video and get some popcorn in or do whatever it is you might do to relax on a Friday. Treat yourself - and trick the system - into an extra Friday next week.

But before the "extra Friday" I will be granting everyone next week (no, no need to thank me) enjoy this one first.

Have a nice weekend

Why you shouldn't care about Victoria Beckham

Ok, so I've got nothing personal against the woman, in fact, for the purpose of this blog you could replace her name with any number of celebrities, tv soaps, diet fads etc

But why do the goings on of these people - who have contributed so little to society - have to be reported constantly in the newspapers, on tv and online? You can't get away from it.

I can't access my online email without first clicking to a homepage which offers me snippets of the day's global news, Victoria's new pixie cut, Jordan's boob jobs, Tom Cruise's parenting tips, who wore what at which awards ceremony. G.R.O.A.N.

For the world wide web it does sometimes seem to have quite a narrow (and plastic) view of life.

Ah well, time for coffee.

(Victoria's hair cut looks shite anyway.)

Global Credit Crunch?

We have been saved, Hallelujah! But is it just me or did this massive, global, crisis not affected you directly ?

I live in the UK, have no children and earn enough money a month to get by, but not so much to have a mortgage. There must be thousands of other working couples/people in this situation.

I have a car and have noticed the pinch from petrol prices which have been going up steadily throughout 2008, but don't use the car on a regular basis. I don't eat out a lot, am careful with spending, have double-glazing so my rented flat isn't difficult or (too) expensive to heat, I don't have a credit card.

It's not that I'm trying to belittle the serious situation in the global markets, it's just that the credit crisis hasn't really crunched over my life - yet.

And that makes me really frightened.

The latest rescue packages seem to have buoyed things slightly - for now.

I'm worried I should be taking evasive action to protect myself from any repercussions in the future. But how? Could this happen again?

It's like looking up the hill and seeing this huge snowball hanging on a precipice above me. It's been getting bigger and bigger, and rolling down hill faster and faster, but just before it hits me it stops, creaking on the cliff, poised to fall. And I just stand there helpless, looking up at all of the people who have been crushed.

I'll be back...

... and so I am. Holiday over and back to the real world.

I was, as Mary guessed, on a (canal) boat in middle England but the weather was amazing and there was a coffee maker on-board!! So good result all round.

It gave me some time to think about life, love, the universe, coffee and all the 'big' questions, and I came to the conclusion:

I just don't have a big enough ego to blog.

Morning Coffee is my second attempt - in nearly as many years - at blogging.
I have several reasons for wanting to do this, ranging from the run-of-the-mill reasons that motivate most bloggers, such as interest in the world at large, wanting to be a real (ie paid) writer, connecting with people, wanting to feel like I've achieved something, touched someone, that I've made a small difference in this huge expanse of lonely universe.

To the more bizarre reasons, such as an unreserved fascination (obsession maybe?) with the idea and genre of blogging as literary form, as a 21st Century Dikesnsian alternative to the working-class serialised novel, or something like that.

My first attempt was a much more personalised affair; this is my name, I live here, I like these things, my cat's name is etc. etc. But I found it difficult to get used to the idea that people were sat on their computers at home/work/cafes reading about "me", knowing about me. It's not that I'm worried about perverts or weirdos, it's just that I don't think I'm that interesting. Not to a stranger anyway, not to someone half way around the world who's never met me and is trying to figure out what sort of person I am through a few web pages and some inane ramblings about life.

So this blog is purposefully anonymous, not to keep you from knowing who I am, but because Morning Coffee is not supposed to be (too much) about a personality. It's supposed to be somewhere to click to when you've got five minutes at work and read something that's a little bit different, sometimes funny, and hopefully entertaining, while you have your coffee.

So drink up and get back to work!

Out of office

As you read this I am either:

In the South of France enjoying the last of the summer sunshine before winter truly takes it's grip on Britain. I am sipping fresh French coffee for breakfast and rich red wine for dinner (eating in between of course).

Or, at home wondering why the colours I chose for my bathroom looked good in the shop but now make me feel a little sea sick when I'm having a bath.

Or, on a boat somewhere in middle-England getting wet and cold and drunk while eating pies and playing bridge.

Or, in Florida, riding The Hulk roller-coaster at Universal Studios until I'm so sick I need one of those little buggies fat people use to get around the park.

Unless my little French cottage has broadband I'll give you all two week's to figure out which one is true.

If you've wandered onto this page then perhaps you'd like to spend your morning coffee break imagining the perfect stress-free autumn vacation.

Back soon, keep the coffee freshly brewed for me